On Being an Authentic Woman

Posted on Posted in Womens Issues

As a woman, you have been told many things.

“Ladies don’t..”

“Little girls can’t…”

“Women shouldn’t…”

“Mothers don’t…”

“Wives wouldn’t…”

It just keeps going on and on throughout our lives. We are conditioned to act within parameters of society, not taught to gather the strength to really sit back and think about what it is that we want, how do we want the world to see us and how do we proceed. I see a great deal of this manifested into regrets, anxiety and depression with clients as the days turn into years and women aren’t feeling fulfilled in their lives whether it be their careers, in their household or in their marriages.

How do you reclaim that part of you? How do you peel back the layers of expectations, demands and loss? How do you become the “authentic” you again or for the first time?¬†

1.Start by examining the things in your life that aren’t joyous to you but done out of habit or obligation. Are you volunteering for events that displeases you? Are you hosting dinners although you hate it? Are you saying “yes” when you really want to shout a big fat “NOOOO!”?

2.Try to picture fulfilling your needs. I’ve met women who have worked solely for the purpose of pleasing everyone but themselves. In the end it led to resentment and/or regret. You can help others and also help yourself.

3.Be a little selfish. Do something nice for your self. See a movie, go dance at that concert, buy the tickets for that production, take that class, learn that new skill, go on that date, make those plans… and if you don’t have a partner or friend to accompany you…go alone with just a smile. It’s okay to think about yourself once in awhile. It really is okay.

4. Find reasons and ways to smile more authentically. Look in the mirror and love the you that not everyone gets to see.

5. Just be. You. Whatever that means.

I could write a million ways to reclaim or grab at your own happiness and authenticity¬†but only you know what that looks like for you. And even if you don’t the journey to finding out what it means for you can be fun, joyous and fulfilling. The key is taking the first step. I can tell you from personal experience, my first step was doing things that scared me. For example, acting was scary because I had to be vulnerable in a way that I had never before but it was so very rewarding as well. Now I go through life trying to scare myself because for me that means that I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone to try things and live. For you, it may be different but you won’t know until you try.

If you need help exploring, counseling may be beneficial for you, don’t hesitate to call Sisterhood Wellness and Family Counseling @773-562-3219.